Indescribable

have you ever crying with no reason?
the tears are just easily falling down on your cheeks.
your heart , your mind, feels like a mess
you know there's no use in crying but you can't stop the teardrop.

what's the name of this kind of feeling?
a feeling like you know you deserve a chance, but life just push you away from it
like you have many little random problems that can easily forgotten, but suddenly it all gathers and traps you in a difficult situation
I feel like I have power, but feel so powerless

I don't want to cry, but I think it's the best way to express my feelings
have so many friends, but I don't think I want to share it with them
maybe it's best for me to just keep it for myself
and just share it with God in my prayer, that would be more...peaceful

I know crying is useless, I know crying can't solve the problems
but at least, it makes me relieve and feel better
I'm enough with that :')

well, that's quite enough, thought I can let it go, and let's put back a smile in the face :')
I don't know if it makes sense and relevant to this situation, but I like this song, and the video too...

Y U So Sensitive?

Recently, I have problems with my skin. Let me tell you...

First, my face is having 'a transformation'. No, I didn’t do that plastic surgery or nose job, The transformation I mean here is...something that make my face looks uglier.

The last 2 months, I was attending a party, and stupid me, I forgot to brought my face powder. So, I used my friend’s powder without considering the effect.

Then the next morning after the party...there were so many pimples on my face! At first, I thought it’s just the ordinary pimples which simply disappear after at least a week, but it won’t after 2 weeks!

Then my mom brought me to doctor and I was given two kind of capsules, a facial cleaner, and a night cream. I have used it for 2 months, but it doesn’t woooooork!

Errr is it because the doctor is not good enough or is it the pimples are so difficult to be exterminated??

I should’ve known that my skin is very sensitive, and I can apply every cosmetics in my face. I’m so upset everytime I see my face in the mirror. For me, it’s a big deal. And everytime me and my friends take pictures with my camera, I have to photoshoped it first, just to hide my awful pimples. Fuuh sorry for spamming about this unimportant thing, but I just want to share.

Dear all the readers, don’t you ever use somebody’s face powder! Make sure that you use your own powder, or you will end up like me!!! -__-

- While my bussiness with the pimples is not over, then come the new problems. It’s about my skin, again. One day, I found many small bumps on my body. It’s very horrible, it spreads all over my thighs, arms and neck. It’s itching and makes me uncomfortable. Then I go to the doctor and she said that I have an allergy. Then I curious, what am I allergic to? But the doctor can’t answer my question and she said that I must do the examination on lab. After I took some pills, the small bumps were gone. Until now, I haven’t check it yet. But, I started to googling it and after read some results, I think I have Urticaria

From that incident, I learn to treat my skin nicer and be careful for anything that I feel not good for sensitive skin. Fuuuh, Ya Allah, please cure my troubles as soon as possible, AMIN :’)

Mr. President

Hi, you guys must know about Obama's attending in UI..
only invited people who can attend the public lecture.

errgh I'm very upset and mad because I didn't even get any info about how to get the invitation!!! there's no info, well even there is, it's just a little info.

I'm green with envy when I heard 5-10 of my friends in UI can get the invitation, then I figured out that if we want to get the invitation, we have to registered ourself at US Embassy.
oh good, no one told me about this! :(

well, it's too late to complain... but I really regret this situation, I mean, hey it's the only way to get a chance to watch speech from Obama, live, with my own eyes! and I have missed it...

so I ended up with watching his speech on TV -__-
speaking about his speech, I really love the way he delivered his speech. he looks very capable with that. and I love how he inserted Bahasa Indonesia on his speech, like 'bakso', 'sate', 'becak' and 'pulang kampung, nih'. lol, that was funny ;)

yeah, maybe next time I get a chance to watch his speech, or even handshaking with him..

come back, please, Mr. Obama :)

Hectic

hellooooo everybody!
gosh, it's been a long timeeeeeee!

well, I just finished my mid-semester test this week and it's like 'oh yes! I have finished it badly!'
last week could be my most terrific week of my life...
I forced myself to study and study 'til midnight, because yeah it's my bad habit...
and my life is going hectic during the mid-test.

this is what my desk look-like...

I'm very disappointed with myself, with my ability to answer all the questions...
I'm sucks. errrrgh hate that politic, law, sociology and economy!
the one and only test that I could finished it (I think) perfectly is just communication science. yeah I'm at communication science major and it's a pleasure to answer the question completely.

now I have 7 days off, and I really enjoy it because finally I can go back to my house and sharing with my mom, dad, and big brother. but, it seems like this lil' holiday is gonna be interrupted by commit activities -__-

oh but for now, I hope my mid-test result is good, and please, no C.
keep praying all days for it...

Persuade Me

Do you know what it feels like, knowing you are good at something but you just don’t feel confidence about it?

You give up and try to convince yourself that you’re not the one to blame.

You are surrender from the beginning.

You don’t even want to try it first, the reason is because you are pessimist.

Do you know who it is? It’s a loser. The characteristics of loser.

I have heard a quote who said,

If you lose, it doesn’t make you a loser, at least you give it a try.

The real loser is the one who afraid to fall and have no gut to try it first.

You know what, it does happen to me. I’m the one who afraid to try. I had lose many opportunities. Yeah I’m a coward by default...

Please, don’t do the same thing like this, guys...

Please remember that ‘don’t be afraid to fall, be afraid to not try’

Hope next time I can show my bravery :’)

Nametag

Just want to update about my orientation event in Communication Science, also known as ‘Commit’, our nametag has changed, the previous one was torn by the seniors. If you ask why, then I tell the story. It’s because one of the members of new kid in communication didn’t use the nametag in FISIP’s building area. Just one person, but the end of it, all should take the consequences which is the defacement of our I-pod nametag. It really hurts us when we saw that the seniors torn it right in our face! The 3D I-pod nametag is complicated and we made it for three days, with sweat and blood! Well, I don’t want to blame the seniors, okay, they have rights to did it.

I captured it a while after the defacement



but, thank God, my nametag is safe :)

Then, we had to made a new nametag again. Pheew...it made us exhausted. It’s still in 3D form. Look at this...

Yeah, it’s a bell. I have no idea why the color is shocking pink, but basically I like it. Even I still think the I-pod is unbeatable.

Well, this two nametags are necessary to me. I will keep it good, it can be a memory someday :)

Expired

HI!

Wow, it’s been a loooong loooong time for me to update this blog!

I’m sorry for this situation, blame the college things that make me super busy now.

The assignments, presentations and quizes are my daily foods. Yum!

This 2 weeks feels so hard. The orientation for new kids in Communication Science is not over yet. We have to attended the event twice a week. Just like the other orientations, the seniors are trying to be fierce, terrored us with their anger, stabbed us with their mockery, and made us exhausted with their commands.

I know that the orientation like this had become a tradition for them, but please, I’m too tired. FYI, for the last 1 week, I got class at 8 am everyday and actually it ended at 11 or 2pm, but after it there’s a preparation for the orientation. And I returned to my boarding house again at 7 even 9. And it’s almost everyday in a week!!! Can you imagine that?!

This week the weather is not too friendly. The day is very sunny and hot, but then the afternoon until night is raining hard with big thunder . Exhausted plus The Bad Weather equals SICKNESS! This week my body becomes weaker. I got sore throat, and in the next day I saw my eyes became redder. Gosh! My eyes were irritation! I really need my mom at the time :’(

And hm what else? About college thingy maybe... I had my first sociology quiz on the previous Thursday, there were just 10 questions, and alhamdulillah I got 8 which is true. Nice start. But the bigger challanges are ready to come, the UTS and UAS. It will be held on this middle October. Honestly, I am very scared about this. It’s like, hey, it’s my very first experience on test like this, and what are the tests would be? Yes, I am nervous and full of doubts. Please, wish me luck peeps!

And being a new kid on the college, I really want to be active and take a part in any organizations. That’s why I joined the open recruitment for Kota Seni FISIP UI and FISIP Award 2010. I listed my name for position Publication and Program Division. No, I’m not going to participate in the two events at the same time. I prefer Kota Seni, but I won’t reject if I get a chance in FISIP award. It doesn’t matter what the event is, but the most important is I have to experience the team work. That’s very useful for our future when we’ve got a job. Wish me a good luck again please ;)

Okay, maybe that’s enough for me.

Do things with passion or not at all, that’s my advice for today. BYE!

Do Not Miss Me

Tomorrow is September 16, and it meaaaaaaaans that I have to go back to my routine at campus.
back to Depok again, back to my boarding house again, back to my daily dose of warteg's food, sigh...

okay. bye for now!

300th Crap

hi all!
I'm soooooo sorry for the lack of update, you know, life has been busy this time.
this is my 300th post, and I have no idea what I'm going to write.
just wanna tell you guys that...

now, I'm the new college student.
and my experience being that profession is... tiring but fun (not really sure about this word)
I have classes every Monday until Friday
it starts from 8 am, and ends at 11 if there's no class again, but if there's a class it ends at 2.
well, I can say that college time is more enjoyable than high school's.
the schedule is not too dense and one thing even better is I can wear anything that I want right now! there's a satisfaction from mixing and matching my shirt, shoes, bag and accessories. I often try some clothes the night before going to campus! it calls preparation, right? ;)

don't forget the fact that now I'm living in boarding house.
at first, I was scared and still feeling strange about the room. my mom was trying hard to convince me that it's okay and the climax is she add yellow-flower-patterned-wallpaper on my wall's room. I think it made my room looks cheerful. thanks mom :)
but the saddest part about living far away from family is...
1st, sometimes I feel so lonely. well, I have friends, but family will never be replaced.
2nd, my appetite for food is decreased when I'm in boarding house. why? because there's just only 3 small resto near my b'house and I have tried all menus, and it's like everyday routine!
wanna know my daily menu?

Tumis Jamur (mushroom stir-fry)



Gulai Daun Singkong (not sure what it is in English)




Kering Kentang (fried and dried potatoes)

and Telor Ceplok (Fried Egg)

what do you think of it? how are they taste??
I really miss my mom's cuisine :(

but just look at the bright side, many of my friends said that my body looks slimmer.
ahaha agree with them? ;)

well, even it's painful but I have to accepted it nicely.
it's okay, maybe it's the way that God has made for me, and maybe it's my way to be more independent as the real 18-years-old girl :)

oh yah! my wish to having the pink C3 is granted! thanks mom and dad :)

Frigging Busy!

heeeeeeeey everybody!
I'm so sorry for neglecting this blog, I didn't mean to do that.
the college thingy forced me to do this.
yeah now I'm very very busy doing the college thingy.
Last week my day was full of activities, started with an orientation from university, then orientation from faculty and last but not least, orientation from department.
aaaaaaaaargh it really makes me exhausted!
my voice is gone, I don't know why, but some said that it's because I'm too tired...

I have to admit that the previous week was the worst week I've ever lived!
1st, the college activities were slowly killing me, I even had no time for myself!
2nd, I fell asleep and didn't wake up at Sahur's time, twice! I have set my alarm on, but it doesn't work for me -__-
3rd, I couldn't go home for a week! it's all because the busy schedule coming from UI.

so, this two days, I had my day off.
I didn't join the ESQ program that was held at PRJ, Kemayoran, which I supposed to.
I did that because I wanna stay at home, say hello to the internet, and take a rest.
and that's the most precious thing for me this week...

just because I said it was horrible, doesn't mean that I'm stress or what.
I still feel enjoy, because there's always friends to share...
I am thankful for having them.

S, do not give me pain...

I am very disappointed with Spain!
I give my extra time to watched them, I stayed up until 11, while the next day I have a registering for UI.
but, what did I have watched?
they were lose against Switzerland.

God! I swear I cried at the time.
I'm sad, upset and mad!
how could the winner of Euro 2008 lose from just Switzerland?!
what would the world say about this?!
this is embarassing...

I'm a bit upset about the coach of Spain.
why he didn't command Torres and Fabregas to play on the 1st round?!

but that's okay, Spain still have chances to fix this situation.
I hope they could win-well, they SHOULD win- on their next matches versus Honduras and Chile.

GO ESPAIN!
I still support you no matter what happen!

Not To Forget

Always forgive people who hurt you. You're only hurting yourself by keeping it inside.


Thanks Vicky for the quotes.
it's true. and I have forgive them, but never forget their fault.

Can I Delete You From My Life?

What is a friend?
a single soul dwelling in two bodies.

but that's just Aristotle's quotes. not in my real life...

well, I have a problem with my no longer friend...
they started to ignore and abandon me. it hurts me.

after all this time, I'm trying to make friends with them, trying to be a good listener, trying to be a clown by making fool of myself, but then what is their response?!

I don't like to feel angry or upset with people, so I just keep it by myself.
I'd rather do nothing. Just let God make revenges to them...
okay, maybe we can still be friends, but it will not be the same like yesterday. I have known the true you. and I'm disappointed with you all. really disappointed...

I'm trying to not to give a damn about this thing.

Friends will come and go, just focus on you and your future.